Wednesday, May 22, 2002

(Note: This might be a long post, as I might take a hiatus from blogging.)

I am proud to announce that, as of May 18, 2002, I am officially a college graduate. :)

The graduation ceremony happened to fall on a rainy and chilly Saturday morning. This was one memorable ceremony, as I can't remember the last time I complained so much about the weather. In fact, it was so awful that open seats were available under the tent, which meant that many of the estimated 9,000 guests were watching from either the auditorium(s) in Lindsay or Adamian, or from the beautiful classrooms in Smith (yep, the non-traditional classrooms). You could (literally) see many of the graduates shivering in their caps and gowns. I even thought I was going to catch pneumonia or catch a cold (I think the latter applied). As for the speeches, I thought they were good, but not particularly awe-inspiring. It might have something to do with the weather, since I could go someplace warmer the sooner they end.

The guest speaker this year is the Republican gubernatorial candidate, Mitt Romney. I was afraid he would talk about politics at our graduation, but thankfully, he did not. Instead, he talked about "heroes" and his experiences with the Olympics. My favorite part of his speech was probably the part about Kerri Strug, the U.S. gymnast who led the U.S. team to win the Olympics several years ago. I liked that part most because I remembered watching that amazing performance by Strug - whose courage beautifully captured the spirits of the Olympics.

I saw most of my friends at graduation, mostly because we're seated by majors. :) I was thrilled to see one of my friends from high school during the processional. I've known him since my sophomore year of high school and we used to work together at the bank, but I only see him occasionally around campus. Because we are different majors and he was was a year ahead of me, we didn't have any classes together.

He's an awesome person, though, and he never failed to make me smile. Even at graduation, he stepped out of his processional "line" just to give me a hug. But then again, graduation or not, it's always like that between us. :) There is only a select few people who I get along with just as well. One of them is like an older brother to me. He definitely watched out for me and my teammate at the trip in Virginia, particularly at the bar, mostly from drunken people who acted like total idiots. (I used to want to check out the bar scene once I've turned 21, but I don't think so anymore).

Tidbits:

-As far as post-graduation plans go, I still trying to figure things out.

-At the dinner with my team at the President's House, I learned that Bentley is now "officially" Bentley University. That's pretty neat.

-Boston Celtics tied the Eastern Conference Finals Series against the New Jersey Nets (1-1) today. I hope the Celtics win. :)

- Warnings about suicide bombers in the future in the U.S. and potential threats against U.S. landmarks are all over the news. While I think many people are used
to the heightened alerts/warnings by now, I still think they are a bit unsettling.

-Genetically modified featherless chickens have been created. Odd-looking creatures, I'd say.

Anyway, going back to the beginning of this post, I think I am going to take a hiatus from blogging (it's been lurking in my mind for some time now). I've started this in my second year of college, and I am still amazed that I've kept this thing going for this long. Now that college is over, I think I am going to take a break from blogging. Maybe I'll write periodically. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll start something else, maybe a new design, maybe a new name, Whatever it is, something needs to be changed. After all, sometimes we learn most from changes.

We'll see. :)

Thursday, May 16, 2002

I am not really doing anything particularly productive these days, and it's not good. Sure, I know lots of people would like free time to do whatever, but I did most of what I wanted to do already. Now, I just feel like I have lots of free time on my hands and I should just get busy. People would wonder what my hurry is, after all, I haven't even graduate from college yet. Well, I will, in two days, and I'd like to plan ahead. That's just my nature. I know some travelling will be in store for me, but I haven't figured out what I will doing in the long term.

As far as graduation goes, I am not as excited about it as I should be. Don't get me wrong. I am excited about it. Just not as excited about it as everyone else. I still can't believe that it's only three years ago that I moved into college - (even though it's not even too far away from home) - and now it's over. I still remember my freshman orientation, which I didn't particularly enjoyed. Two of my high school friends had just broken up around that time, and it wasn't pleasant to hear some of the arguments. Also, we were "forced" to attend this party on the first night there, which was fine, except I didn't really want to and the RA literally dragged me out of my room even though I insisted on staying in my room to read my freshman viewbook and promised to be good and quiet and make no troubles. (Not that I am a troublemaker anyway).

In my freshman year, though, I did meet two very special friends. I met one of them in my freshman seminar class and it was there that we both planned to graduate in three years from college. We still keep in touch even though we haven't had any classes all this year and only see each other periodically around campus. The other I see a lot more often only because we are both CIS majors and he's in most of my classes. I really adore him. He's such an interesting person. He's getting married next summer too, so I am even more happy for him. I am so happy to see that my friends are happy. I hope I don't lose touch with either of them after graduation. It's so hard to keep in touch with people.

So here I am. I am twenty years old and I am graduating in two days. Like most people, my college experience has its ups and downs. I guessed my college experience, in a lot of ways, is like my trip in Virginia this past April. It's more steady than the trip, since there were one or two things that bothered me a little bit. It forced me to look at the social situation more than I ever paid attention to it or in ways that I never needed to look at in college, and it's quite an experience).

Will I miss the school? Sure. Maybe I will. I doubt that I would miss the school more than I would miss all the people I met there. It's always the people. They're so important and it is they that I will keep in my memories. But, no need for me to get sentimental. After all, this isn't goodbye. This is only the beginning.

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

For some reasons, they are all attracted to me.

It's too bad the subjects in question are mosquitos.
Oh joy.

Tuesday, May 14, 2002

Update: I received my final grade earlier tonight and I did just as I had expected. Everything is now "official". :)
All grades were due yesterday from professors, but I am still missing one more grade. I am actually quite annoyed with professors who don't hand in their grades on time. Sure, they have lots of papers to grade, but they also had over a week to do it. If teachers want students to submit homework/assignments on time, shouldn't they set an example by giving us our papers back after a reasonable amount of time?

In my entire college career, this is the second time that a professor had submitted a grade late. This one, however, is particularly annoying. Do you know why all grades were due yesterday? Because the Registrar's Office is going to complete its audit of requirements of graduating seniors by tonight, which is reasonable since graduation is coming up in several days.

Do you know what that means? For those seniors that need the course to graduate, they would be "walking" across the stage to get their diploma. That means that those seniors who need the course to graduate won't "officially" graduate or have honors listed under their names (it would be listed in the next graduation ceremony) until they have completed all requirements (logically enough). But, how is it the students' fault if the professor wasn't puctual in submitting grade?!?! (There's quite a few seniors in that particular class, myself included).

Yesterday, I was psyched to find out that I got a 4.0 for a class that I spent quite a deal of time in. Based on my class performance and quizzes, I think I did well in the class said above (the one I haven't received a grade). With that 4.0, I was able to secure honors - I think. All seemed to work out at the point, except I am a little bit nervous about the said situation above.

Luckily for me, I took the above course only for fun. After looking at my degree requirement summary (DRS), I figured that I don't need the course or the credits. I have enough credits to graduate as it is now, but I am a little bit nervous that the Registrar's would make some mistakes. (Hey, mistakes can happen, and since I am graduating in three years, my DRS is already as complicated as it can get). So I am hoping that everything will go smoothly. If not, I guess I would receive some notice soon, but probably not in time to make any changes before graduation. That would be very irritating, actually. I know this is going to be quite a headache for plenty of people, because I know that a number of students needed the course to graduate.

Oh boy. Grades were due yesterday. Let's just hope my professor put in our grades no later than this evening, before the Registrar's Office completes its auditing of requirements. Otherwise, there's going to be lots of headache. Until then, I am probably going to obsessively check my grades online every other hour. Or something like that.

Saturday, May 11, 2002

A good painting is a good painting, regardless of whether the painter is a friend, foe, or a stranger.

Last month, my mom and sis picked me up from school after my all-day Saturday class to go to Burlington Mall. I was most happy, because I finally got out of school and it was the long weekend. One of the things we wanted to purchase was an air-conditioner. We only have one at home, which has been been used for years and it looked like it won't last for too much longer.

So we soon made our purchase and went to the merchandising pickup area. As my mom and I “waited” for the merchandise, my sister went to get the car. The air-conditioner was semi-heavy (~ 65 lbs) and I walked back and forth between the waiting area and the door to check on my sis’s arrival. As I was waiting by the door, I saw one worker carried a heavy looking box to a customer's car. As he came back in, the automatic door shut on him. Naturally, I stepped in front of the sensor to let him in just as he pressed some button by the side of the door. He obviously noticed my intention, so he thanked me and smiled. I smiled back. It was then that I got a close look at him and was actually quite alarmed at how young he looked! He looked around my age, if not only slightly older (and could possibly be younger!)

I went back to the waiting area to wait for the merchandise with my mom. Coincidentally, the same gentleman brought our merchandise in a wheeled cart. (I said coincidentally because there were several workers). By the time he brought it outside, my sis (and her car) was still nowhere in sight. I explained that my sister has not arrived and the box can been left on the ground. I proceeded to move the box with my leg, and had probably moved the box 97% out from the cart when the corner seemed to be stuck to the cart. Instinctively, I held the cart by the handle to try to push it off with my leg. It worked! In hindsight, I must have looked a bit ridiculous, though, as he was still holding the cart handle! (I should have let the professionals do their work, shouldn’t I?)

The guy asked with genuine concern, “Are you sure you can carry it? It is kind of heavy”. I nodded my head that it would be OK and thanked him (I had to carry desktops when I worked at Field Service for several weeks, so I figured I could handle it). He politely bid me to have a good day. I looked up to bid him the same, when I noticed he was looking at me very intently and smiling. I couldn’t help but to smile back. It’s almost contagious. Because he was intently looking at me, the first thing I noticed when I met his gaze was “oh my, what beautiful eyes he has!” It was the first thing I notice and it’s not something I can say to just anyone. His eyes give him a deep, pondering type of look and its mood matched my mood of the day, filled with excitement and energy. That, along with his sweet smile, struck an immediate thought (and one that I don’t usually think about because it is rather superficial”, “wow, this guy is so cute!” (and he’s in his work clothes!)

He went back to his work. I sat comfortably on the edge of a concrete space right outside the pickup area with my legs rested comfortably on top of the box, and my mom waiting near me for my sister. I was busy thinking what beautiful eyes he has (he really does; it’s almost mesmerizing). Soon, I saw him out again carrying merchandise for another customer. I tried not to look at him because it would be weird (especially since I don’t know him), but I thought how nice it would just to observe him and his facial expressions. He’s so handsome. The analogy is like that of paintings. If one likes a painting, one could just look at it and examine all the details. I then carried on a conversation with my mom, although that doesn’t stop me from looking at his direction. (It's hard to look away when you're drawn to something, almost like most people tend to slow down to look at the scene of an accident). After he helped with his customer, he went to help with a co-worker who happened to be carrying huge merchandise.

Just as he and his co-workers began to walk inside, my sister pulled up and my mom began to put her shopping bag in the passenger seat and prepared to help me put the box into the trunk. While I have done weight training (h.s. swim team), the box was still too big and too heavy for me to carry alone. I sat in my comfortable position waiting for my mom and also waiting for those workers to go back inside. I had told the guy that help was not necessary, so I didn’t want to take back my words. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw that his co-workers went in but he was still standing there – just watching me intently, again. (I bet he was wondering how I could get the box into the trunk, since he was fully aware that my sis’ car is here. Also, he himself carried the box out in a wheeled cart, so one would wonder how I could put it in the trunk myself.

I hopped down from my position and lifted the box up from the ground, just as he asked if I needed any help and walked over to me with that brilliant smile of his. I tested the weight of the box under my feet and it didn’t feel too heavy, but he insisted, “Here, I’ll hold this side of the box”. So we each carried a side of the box and placed it easily into trunk. He commented (almost as if he were relieved for me) that at least the air-conditioner wasn't as heavy as the other ones. I thanked him again, because he really didn't have to help again.

He looked at me with that smiling eyes of his, and once again, I was so amazed by his beautiful eyes. They truly are beautiful; they’re also so full of life and energy! And those eyes looked so genuinely glad to see whatever and whomever they behold. And like a good painting, I could only admire it. He smiled at me and bid me a good day again. I bid the same to him as a final goodbye. We each went our ways.

When I stepped into the car, I couldn’t help but to blurt out to my sis, “Did you see that guy?” My sis, who had seen him from the rearview mirror, had a rather odd, but thoughtful expression on her face. Before I could say anything else, she said something that I don’t normally hear her say, “You know, he’s really cute”. And you know what, even my mom agreed!

In fact, he may perhaps be one of the most handsome people I have ever seen (Don't get me wrong, though. I don't like him that way because I don't even know him, but that still doesn't change the fact that he was so handsome). His eyes and his smiles are so engaging. But despite his handsome look, there is one thing that I hope he will never lose: the joy, the carefree look, and the happiness that I’ve seen in his eyes that could only come from the heart. That look, that expression is so refreshing to see, and I hope he will never lose whatever it is that made his eyes glittered like the way I saw them…

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

My team (undergraduate division) and the other team (open division) all attended the celebration dinner at the President's House yesterday. Each of us received a very nice plaque. It was a nice celebration dinner. One of the team members also made a CD for everyone with all the pictures taken in McLean, Virginia and Georgetown, DC. It was fun looking at the pictures. I can't even remember some of the pictures we took there until I looked at them! Each of us also got several hard-copy (not the digital version) of the pictures. I am so glad I have the opportunity to participate in this competition. Sometimes we learned the most from the people and the opportunities we take more than we learn "from" school, and I can say that this is one of those opportunity. It was probably the culmination of my college experience, and it almost seemed surreal.

This is certainly a huge variance from my last post, but distraction is probably best for me right now.

I completed all of my final exams and papers on Monday. Now, I'll have some time off until graduation next week. I have still yet to find out how I did for three of my classes. While I generally don't pay much attention to grades, I am a bit anxious to find out if I made honors at graduation or not. (Yes, not surprisingly, I am at the borderline right now).

I'll see most of my friends at commencement. I know I'll miss them after graduation, as we all go into our separate paths. Still, it was really nice to hang out with them before graduation. I went out with a good friend just the other day at Friendly's for lunch to catch up on things, and simple things like that are very nice, actually.

Mother's Day is coming up this weekend. What are you planning to do for your special mom? :)

Monday, May 06, 2002

I wish I could write out everything I am feeling right now, but I can't. And I won't.

I guess if you put it in perspective, it would only be a mild stir in the wavelength. Then again, if you put everything into perspective, then nothing truly matters anymore.

It always comes down to this. Everything else seemed trivial when compared to it. Of course, how can anything ever compare to happiness? Why must it because of it that caused so much unhappiness? Why? Why? Why?

*sigh*

Sunday, May 05, 2002

The weather is perfect for Walk for Hunger today. Last year, it reached a high of ninety-something degrees, which made it all the more unbearable. One walker had to take the ambulance, which was fairly serious. With the exception of the first year when I walked all 20 miles, I walked only 15 miles since. Today was no exception. Why? Because it made no sense to start out in Boston, walk by Brookline, Newton, etc, and then get back all the way to Cambridge. Since I LIVED in Cambridge, it made absolutely no sense for me to walk all the way back to Boston, just to take the subway to head back to Cambridge. I know I'd missed all the celebrations at the end of the walk, but there were plenty of fun during the walk.

I haven't updated this thing for a long while now, only because I didn't really want to. I only wanted to write whenever I feel like it, not because I have to. Otherwise, this blog might as well be a goner. I haven't given my blog URL to people I know. In the past, I put it under my AIM profile, but I don't even do that anymore. So most of the people who tend to visit my blog are people who just happened to stumble into it. I have no problem with it because sometimes it's really easier to say what's on your mind to a stranger than to a friend. I know. I know. It sounds bad, but it's true.

I couldn't really say I am busy these days. Sure, I have finals and papers, but compared to previous semesters (where I pull all-nighters), this semester is like a vacation!
I had time to chill out with friends at Breakfast by Moonlight, play pool (first time this year, although I am fairly decent at it) :), more plans with friends next week, and a dinner with my team at the President's House. The best part about hanging out with my friends is that I've known most of them since first year of college, and they're some of my most trusted friends. (I don't have a huge circle of friends, but some really good and close friends - which is far better and more important in my mind).

I have to study for my final tomorrow, so I'll probably reflect on my college experience next week (intellectually challenged, etc, etc, etc). Unless I changed my mind, of course. Come of think of it, though, I think it's all pretty cool. And you know what, I think I am pretty darn thrilled about it than I have been in the past!!