Thursday, August 23, 2001

There is so much I want to say, but ... ? (Is life just a huge question mark too?)

Instead of my usual ramblings - or rantings ;) - depending on how you look at it, I am just going to share a poem which I've accidentally stumbled across online. I think it's a beautiful poem. Enjoy!


If I knew - Annoymous

If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.


For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "I love you's",
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget,

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
that you love them very much and
you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "thank you," or "it's okay".
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Friday, August 17, 2001

Last week of summer course. Yay! Look what I am doing instead. I am here. Wasting time. Being unproductive. I don’t mind, though, because each of us need sometime to ourselves. And this is just my way of doing it. Of course, I know I’ll pay for it when I stay up late to finish a paper in the very near future. ;)

With the final exam around the corner, unfortunately, that means I won’t be able to reply to e-mails. So if I owe you e-mail, please be patient…

I received my room assignment for school yesterday. I am rooming with one of my friends, and we’ve got a 2-person apartment on-campus. Another yay! ;)

It is also my last year of school too, so I am feeling a mixture of gladness and sadness. Sometimes I never really feel like I belong … anywhere. Don’t get me wrong. I am, by no means, anti-social (most say I am ebullient). Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever worried about the social aspect of things – it comes quite naturally to me. And I have some very good friends (and an awesome best friend!), all of whom I am always grateful for. So I don’t know why I should feel the way I feel. Maybe it’s just a phase? Maybe there is something I have yet to grasp?

Saturday, August 11, 2001

I need out! Something else! Anything else!

I am frustrated - I am not sure if I am more frustrated at myself or my situation. I am always one to believe that we are the change we want to see. I also know that it is easier said than done, but I do intend to make some (temporary) changes. I don't know if it can be done yet, but I'd go crazy if it were to go like this for the next few weeks. I feel really guilty the way I feel now, because I know that many would love to be in my position right now. But what do I do when my heart is telling me something else? Do I listen to my heart or my head? (Rational thoughts aren't always helpful). And no, I am not referring to romance here. It just dawned on me that it could be taken that way. :) I won't go into it - nor do I want to, but I just want a moment to rant about it. I guess I'll leave it at that now.

On a different note, I would have love to do a study abroad - had it not been for financial factors. But then again, I'd have a hard time choosing where I'd want to visit. Before I visited London this past May, I would have picked London. Now that I know what I know, I probably won't. I'd probably want to go somewhere else, but where? Italy? France? Spain? Then again, I guess staying where I am now sounds like a good plan. Although I might go elsewhere before school starts. I won't say where it is yet; maybe after plans have been finalized? Also, why would you want to know, anyway? :)

Thursday, August 02, 2001

ooooh, I know this is a strange post, but...oh well. :)

I am eating oce-cream right now (as I am typing this very sentence) and it tastes good. Really good.

(time elasped)...

Ok. I am done with the oce-cream. I eat fast. I know. I am going to scoop myself another oce-cream in a couple of minutes. Yum.

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It's very tiring to go to work full-time and take a class at the same time. I am only taking one class for fun this summer, and it's already killing me (time-wise). The work itself isn't difficult, but I can hardly find the time to do the assigned reading, let alone anything else. The only other thing that I always make time for is my personal diary. And no, you can't read it. ;)

Otherwise, I don't know if it's just this week or if it's the weather. Whatever it is, though, I don't like the way it feels.

I've been having a headache at work for the past two days, and...and...my imagination is running wild with me. At work today, I was thinking about what could be more exciting, so I was ...um...looking at the stapler. A really cool thought then struck here. I watched the stapler, and then I imagined (in my mind, of course) little feet coming out from the bottom of the stapler and the white-colored stapler started to dance around the table. I actually smiled at that thought. Oddly enough, one of my co-workers, happened to joke at that moment that she could feel the heat coming from my thinking. It was just a joke, but I was just thinking, "Ha! you wouldn't want to know what I was just thinking!" I don't know if that's just a nuts me or that's creativity at work. Can that even count as creativity?

And I hit my hands on the wall while I was having a dream the other day. Ouchie. What a draggy (it's better than "dragging") week.

What else?

Oh yes, oce-cream time! :)